KAYLA KRAKEN
The Contract Cuttlefish
Kayla Kraken is the apex predator of paperwork. With eight arms and a thousand clauses, she serves the shadowy elite by dragging everyday citizens into a web of legalese, delays, fines, and red tape. She doesn’t win cases with truth—she wins them with exhaustion. Her motto? "If you can't silence them, sue them."
She thrives in complexity and ambiguity, and she’s always smiling while pulling your livelihood into the undertow. To her, justice is a tool—not a principle. And her filing cabinet goes deeper than most dungeons.
Anytime you speak out or fight back against distortion, she's there to stop you in court. Right or wrong they have more money than you, and they know it.
Catchphrases:
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"You should’ve read the fine print, sweetheart."
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"You’re not innocent. You’re just underrepresented."
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"Due process? More like due profits."
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"By the time you fight back, Badger will already own your neighborhood.
KAYLA KRAKEN
Distortion: The Distortion of Weaponized Legal System
Origin Story (Bio):
Once a humble city clerk with a conscience, Kayla was gradually seduced by the power of loopholes. She discovered that the system wasn't broken—it was perfectly rigged. Instead of fighting injustice, she studied its language. Over time, her moral compass dissolved in a sea of contracts, and she merged with the Kraken Firm: a predatory corporate entity run entirely through encrypted loopholes and offshore shells.
Now she travels from town to town, sniffing out resistance—and burying it under 10,000 pages of litigation.
Likes:
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Loopholes that never close
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4:59 PM filings
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Settlements with silence clauses
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Clients who say “make it disappear”
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Dislikes:
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Pro bono anything
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Paperwork transparency laws
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People who read
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Justice Goose (deep personal beef)
Signature Moves:
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Ink of Intent – Shoots a blinding cloud of legal ink that forces opponents to sign before they read.
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Subpoena Slam – Slaps foes with a massive scroll that locks their movement in red tape.
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Clause Crawlers – Sends micro-legal eels to tangle any verbal defense in contradiction.
Bonus Lore:
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​Her desk is rumored to be built from the shredded dreams of whistleblowers. In her chambers, a whispering fax machine is always running… even though it’s unplugged. It’s said she once filed a lawsuit against Time itself—and won a 3-month delay on aging.
💸Julian's
Favorites:
​Residence:
The Leviathan Lobby – an underwater glass law firm carved into a trench, accessible only by coded invitation.
Transportation:
A giant, sentient gavel-shaped submarine called The Ruling.