DR. THEO MALLARDSON
The Rationalist
Theo was once a rigid academic, dismissing anything outside the scientific method. But the more time he spent in Ducktown, the more he witnessed things that couldn’t be explained — synchronicities, distortions, odd little patterns. Instead of rejecting the unexplainable, Theo began studying it, becoming a bridge between pure logic and emerging resonance. He’s not fully spiritual, but he’s honest enough to admit when something is real, even if he can’t model it (yet).
Catchphrases:
-
“Lets test it first.”
-
“The math isn't lying - yet.”
-
"Feelings aren't daya."
DR. THEO MALLARDSON
Class: The Empirical Mind
Origin Story (Bio):
After publishing his book The Rational Mind: Why We Believe Nonsense, Theo planned to relax in Ducktown for a sabbatical. But what he found there quietly unraveled his certainty — not through argument, but through witnessing undeniable events. Now he applies his scientific mind to study what the Duckiverse calls “the Pattern.
He's seen enough to know something is happening he can't explain, but refuses to call it God. He's currently trying to make simulation theory fit. It hasn't.
🎯 Likes:
-
Quantum Mechanics
-
Data Charts
-
Critical Thinking
-
Observing Wendy's strange behavior
-
Late night pondering
🚫 Dislikes:
- Leo Lionhart's arrogance
-
Certainty without evidence
- Forced spiritual dogma
-
Being called woo-woo
Signature Moves:
🔬The Rational Breakdown:
Calmly dissects distortion arguments with logic, but without aggression.
🧪The Probabilistic Pause:
Halts debates with:
“The evidence is unclear — but I cannot rule it out.”
🧬The Dr's Favorites:
-
Residence:
A small lakefront lab filled with charts, strange instruments, and caffeine machines.
-
🎵 Favorite Song:
"Don’t Stop Believin’" (he hates how much he loves it) -
🎬 Favorite Film:
"The Imitation Game" -
📖 Favorite Book:
"The Structure of Scientific Revolutions" by Thomas Kuhn -
🍽 Favorite Food:
Grilled salmon with lemon — always weighed for perfect macros. -
Bonus Detail:
Runs a secret Reddit forum called Pattern Skeptics Anonymous.