ORVILLE "BIG OIL" JOHNSON
The Climate Killer
Orville "Big Oil" Johnson was born in the back of a limousine during a Texas dust storm. His first word was "drill." Raised on steak, smog, and subsidies, Orville built his empire the old-fashioned way: through loopholes, backroom deals, and the utter rejection of environmental science. He calls climate change a "marketing myth" and personally funded over 300 think tanks to confuse the public.
Known for his charming drawl and devastating campaign donations, Orville has lobbied every council in the Duckiverse to keep pollution legal and profits divine. His company, MooTexx, claims to "run on freedom," though its fuel source appears to be raw denial. His pipeline mustache twitches every time he hears the words "renewable" or "carbon tax."
He sees clean energy as a threat, the youth as naive, and Wendy the Flame Pup as a personal menace. His private jet, The Moo Force One, leaves a trail of smoke shaped like dollar signs.
Catchphrases:
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"If the earth’s warmin’, we’ll just crank the A/C, darlin’."
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"Oil is thicker than water. And a helluva lot more profitable."
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"I didn’t buy the science, but I sure bought the scientists."
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"Don’t blame me for the heat — blame the sun!"
ORVILLE JOHNSON
Distortion: Sanctified Extraction
Origin Story (Bio):
Orville's first oil well struck black gold and promptly exploded — launching his career and 17 lawsuits. After inheriting his father’s ranch-slash-refinery, Orville expanded MooTexx into a Duckiverse juggernaut. When activists protested his river-igniting runoff, he simply built a bigger ranch and declared, “This land burns with freedom.”
He joined the Hollow Syndicate after realizing that melting the planet also melted public resistance. Today, he’s pushing plans to drill under sacred wetlands and bottle filtered air for the elite.
He loves to say "God put oil for us to use."
Likes: Oil baron ballads, Fairy Tale Economics, Filibusters, Owning politicians, Fried Okra, people who are overworked and can't pay attention, blaming average people for climate change not MooTexx
Dislikes: Solar panels, Greta Thunderbird, science, endangered animals
Signature Moves:
☁️ Carbon Cloud:
Fills the room with enough smoke to confuse any moral compass
💲Lobby Slam:
Throws a briefcase full of cash that hypnotizes weaker characters
🛢️ Frackquake:
Stomps the ground, causing tremors and pipeline leaks
Bonus Lore:
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He once tried to sue a rainstorm for damaging his golf course. When asked in court if he believed in climate change, he replied, "Believe in it? Honey, I own it."
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Uses a freak snowstorm in April to disprove 99% of scientists, and people believe him.
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Brought a snowball into congress to disprove climate change. It worked. Somehow
🐄Orville's
Favorites:
Residence: A gold-plated oil rig mansion floating in a swamp he personally deregulated
Transportation:
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Moo Force One (private jet powered by fumes of public trust)
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A stretch limo that runs on endangered plant extract