LANA QUACKSTON
The Concerned One
Lana Quackston arrived in Ducktown several years ago and quickly embedded herself into every committee, improvement board, and homeowner’s meeting she could find. On the surface, she’s polite, spiritual, and endlessly “concerned for everyone’s well-being.” But behind that thin layer of virtue lies a bottomless hunger for control. Lana thrives on rules, appearances, and carefully veiled judgment. While claiming to promote harmony, she uses subtle guilt, social manipulation, and performative concern to bend others to her will. Her smile hides the sharpest beak in Ducktown. She uses emotional pressure, guilt, passive-aggression, and faux-vulnerability to exert control without appearing dominant.
Catchphrase:
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"I'm only bringing it up because I care."
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"Community standards exist for a reason, dear."
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"It's not me sweetie, it's the rules."
LANA QUACKSTON
Distortion: Control-Through-Fragility Distortion
Origin Story (Bio):
Raised in a strict community obsessed with image and reputation, Lana learned early that indirect control was more powerful than open conflict. Over years of practice, she mastered the art of weaponized concern, elevating herself socially while always appearing blameless. When she moved to Ducktown, she saw fertile ground for her methods — and quickly set out to become its quiet queen of order. You don't want to wait on her when she goes out to eat. DON'T.
Likes: HOA Meetings, rules & regulations, passive - aggressive compliments, wine clubs, control
Dislikes: Chaos, Wendy's barking, any person expressing themselves, Bossy's authority, disrespectful freedom
Signature Moves:
📝 The Concerned Note:
Leaves long, guilt-laden notes that sound helpful but are laced with implied judgment.
🤐The Public Shaming Whisper:
Quietly spreads rumors or “concerns” to gain group support without ever appearing directly responsible.
Bonus Lore:
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She once tried to organize a Ducktown-wide meditation circle, but secretly used it to gather data on everyone’s personal habits and file HOA violations.
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Before Ducktown, Lana went viral for a... 'heated moment' caught on camera - something she now "deeply regrets". The controversy forced her to leave her old neighborhood, where she was, naturally head of the HOA.
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Multiple banned Yelp accounts for "excessive community standards enforcement."
🦆Lana's
Favorites
Residence:
The largest, most pristine lakefront home — with cameras monitoring all neighbors “for safety.”
Transportation:
A spotless pearl-white golf cart with a hand-embroidered "HOA President" flag.
Favorite Song:
"Let Me Speak To Your Manager" by The Karens
Favorite Film:
"The Stepford Wives"
Favorite Book:
"The Art of Subtle Manipulation" (self-published under a pseudonym)
Favorite Food:
Kale and quinoa salad with "light vinaigrette" (but secretly binge eats cookies after HOA meetings).
Bonus:
Lana runs a community newsletter called The Ducktown Sentinel, where she publishes veiled criticisms disguised as “community updates.”