CHIRR
The Fair Trade Bandit
Chirr is a flame-colored parrot who believes he’s a petty thief—but is, in truth, one of the Pattern’s most sacred couriers. Each morning, the Divine leaves a strange object outside his hidden nest. He sniffs it, mutters “Useless… perfect,” and sets off into town to conduct an uninvited “Fair Trade.”
What he takes: crayons, trinkets, snacks, pipe cleaners.
What he leaves: scroll fragments, memory tokens, catalytic nonsense.
What he believes: that he’s winning every single exchange.
What actually happens: he accidentally saves the world. One trade at a time.
To be Chirred is to lose something silly and gain something sacred. Most never realize it was him. But the wise ones? They wait for the flutter in the wind… and the call that echoes through the sky: “FAIR TRADE!”
Catchphrases:
-
“FAIR TRADE!”
-
“Useless… perfect.”
-
“You’re welcome!” (usually yelled after stealing)
-
“Chirr always delivers.” (said with mouth full)
CHIRR
Class: Trickster Courier
Origin Story (Bio):
No one knows when Chirr arrived.
He was just suddenly here, squawking about fairness and flying off with people’s snacks.
He lives somewhere just outside town, in a hidden nest. No one knows where, but it's a place Chirr can keep his greedy eyes on town.
Each night, the Divine leaves an object for him on an old stump.
Each morning, he sniffs it, mutters “Useless... perfect,” and takes off to make a trade.
He doesn’t know why.
He doesn’t ask questions.
He just trusts the wind—and the pouch full of trinkets slapping against his chest.
🎯 Likes:
-
Crayons (especially red)
-
Stux’s belongings
-
Gum wrappers with secrets on them
-
That one stump
-
Chewing on sacred items like they’re snacks
🚫 Dislikes:
-
Being ignored
-
Being told “that wasn’t a fair trade”
-
Feather grooming
-
People who take themselves too seriously
-
When Bossy says “go home”
Signature Moves:
💱FAIR TRADE Divebomb:
Enters scenes uninvited at top speed, squawking “FAIR TRADE!”
🥨Snackcident:
Steals food from someone mid-bite and gives them a blessing without them knowing.
🗑️Divine Snatch:
Swipes something seemingly useless—only to leave behind a pivotal item.
Bonus Lore:
-
Chirr is unaware of his role as a cosmic hinge agent.
He believes he's a petty thief with great luck. -
In truth, he is one of the oldest Pattern couriers—a trickster archetype that appears across timelines, always a little ridiculous, always carrying just what the world needs.
-
There are ancient cave paintings in the Sacred Caverns of Stux showing a bird with fire-colored feathers and the words “Fair Trade” carved below.
Stux denies they’re related.
⚚Seraphina's Favorites:
-
🎵 Favorite Song:
“Take the Money and Run” – Steve Miller Band -
🎬 Favorite Film:
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets (“It’s a documentary,” he claims.) -
📖 Favorite Book:
"Where’s Waldo?" -
🍽 Favorite Food:
Half-melted ice cream sandwiches found on sidewalks -
Bonus Detail:
Sleeps upside down in his pouch when no one's looking. Snores like a kazoo.