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COUSIN LYLE

The Duckiverse’s Offbeat Oddball

Deep dives into conspiracies while everyone else is trying to eat. Somehow both annoying and weirdly insightful at the same time.

Catchphrases:

  • “Hey, y’all seen loose change the movie?”

  • “I mean, technically I could help…”

_Cartoon illustration of the same bearded quirky man sitting at a cluttered desk with moni

COUSIN LYLE

Class: Wildcard Analyst / Conspiracy Dabbler / Timeline Drifter

Origin Story (Bio):

Cousin Lyle wasn’t always this way — or so the family insists. He went off to college once and returned... different. Not bad different, just... Lyle different.

He’s known for launching into long-winded theories about time loops, vibrational frequencies, and government weather machines—usually while everyone’s trying to eat. Strangely, some of his theories occasionally sound almost like the Pattern — but tangled up with rabbit holes even GhostWolf won’t touch.

Lyle works in "data analytics" (allegedly), but it’s unclear if anyone has ever seen him actually employed. He always seems to have both too much free time and very expensive equipment. He lives in a small apartment filled with books, crystals, and whiteboards covered in strings.

Despite his quirks, the family keeps him around because, well, sometimes he’s right—and because he’s surprisingly good with car repairs and tax loopholes. He thinks Ajenda the Dragon isn't "that bad".

🎯 Likes:

  • Reverse-engineering toaster ovens

  • Fringe documentaries with dramatic voiceovers

  • Unsolved mysteries podcasts

  • Attending garage sales "for research"

  • Ambiguous social media posts that say “big things coming soon”

🚫 Dislikes:

  • Being fact-checked mid-rant

  • Debbie’s “it’s not that deep” comments

  • Wi-Fi outages during downloads

  • “Mainstream narratives”

  • Bossy’s refusal to take “the Lyle Theorem” seriously

Signature Moves:
🪑 Perpetual Lounger — Somehow always finds a way to sit or lean, even mid-crisis.
🍔 Snack Distraction — Produces bizarre snacks from nowhere, causing both confusion and temporary peace.

👽 COUSIN LYLE'S

FAVORITES

🎵 Favorite Song:
"Time" by Pink Floyd
(Says it "unlocked something" the first time he heard it. Quotes random lines frequently.)

🎞 Favorite Film:
The Matrix
(Considers it both a documentary and a lifestyle guide. Claims he took the red pill before it was cool.)

📖 Favorite Book:
Behold a Pale Horse by William Cooper
(Says he doesn’t “believe all of it,” but then proceeds to reference it constantly.)

🍽 Favorite Food:
Microwaved nachos with “proprietary seasoning blend” (mostly chili powder and garlic salt).

📝 Bonus Entry:
Lyle built a custom EMF-detector out of an old Nintendo 64 controller. Claims it “buzzes” whenever timelines shift.

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